The Disposing Intelligence
You are awakened one spring night by the sweet smell of blossoming orange trees. You rise and stroll through the grove, walking east. As you do so, you catch sight of someone to your left who is mirroring your gait. The moonlight is just bright enough so that when you stop and face this mysterious persona, you can see who it is and are startled. Your twin self gazes back at you.
You feel unsettled and long too reach out and embrace this other self, but at the same time you sense a deep conflict. The two of you call out to each other, but neither of you can understand the words that the other is saying. You feel both love and distrust, and sense an abyss between the two of you, one you feel both unable and unwilling to cross.
At this time, a flash of lightning jags across the sky. During the interval between lightning and thunder, the moon is eclipsed and the world grows dark; even the starlight disappears. Thunder rolls toward you in this inky blackness, and its roaring shakes the ground.
An object is thrust up from the earth and begins to gleam just beyond the last row of trees. You can see that it is a sword, the only object now casting light of any type, but its light is not strong enough to know whether or not your twin still stands near you in the grove.
Stepping out from the shelter of the grove into the dark will take courage. You are reluctant to leave the safety of the orange trees to go into the void, but the rows of orange trees no longer feel comfortable to stay within; so there is nothing else to do but to proceed.
Once you take the first step, the smell of orange blossoms disappear. You walk slowly to the sword, bend down to pick it up. In your hand, the sword glows slightly stronger, casting off a pale green light. The hilt feels warm; you sense that the lightning forged this weapon, and perhaps within the sword is contained all the energy that has left the sky.
A moment later someone strikes your shoulder. Swerving around, you see your twin, the face distorted with hatred in the gleam of the greenish light. You hesitate, not wanting to fight, but then receive another blow on your other shoulder. You then lunge in the darkness with your sword blade sacrificing your shadow-self.
The cry of a jackal calls out as your twin dies; and though you cannot see its shape, the cry is so close that you feel the hairs stand up on your head. The sword is glowing brighter now, and you grab it with both of your hands for defense. The jackal comes into view, but then transforms into the figure of Anubis, the Egyptian funerary god, who resurrects your shadow. He stands besides the part of you that you have slain. Instead of attacking, the two of them turn and walk away from you. The rim of the sun crowns on the horizon and you watch the two figures disappear into its golden curve.
A strong breeze begins to blow; a high strand of cirrus clouds float on the sky now growing violet with the nascent sunlight. You wonder if there will be a storm, but as you study their pattern, the icy wisps in the air take the form of the Archangel Raphael.
The angel is a beautiful androgynous being with yellow skin, dressed in a dark green robe. You breathe in the fresh air that floats to you on the breeze as Raphael descends to the earth. The angel motions for you to hand over your sword, telling you that you no longer need it to protect yourself from yourself. Raphael gives a gift in return; a vial made from the purest tourmaline. You hold the smooth surface and admire the swirling of blues and greens of the container.
Raphael tells you, Drink and be healed.
You lift the vial to your lips. A sweet orange tincture glides over your tongue, reminding you of the aroma that greeted you when waking in the grove. When you have drained the vial, you realize that the peace you felt at that moment was just a hint of the peace that is now flowing through your body and mind.
Raphael points further to the east and you see a great sea of dark blue water rise up from the ground. White capped waves travel across its face; propelling them is Holy Spirit traveling toward your world coming from where all things emerge. Each wave is an element of light that is separating from the great darkness, each a pinpoint of the fabric woven from God’s love.
Your Beloved is awaiting you, Raphael says.
You fill your lungs with pure air, knowing that when you dive into the sea, you will be able to breathe it in; it will forever sustain you. Your twin, your shadow, waits for you there, no longer an adversary, transformed by having taken the route of the sun.
The longing you felt upon setting eyes on your twin in the orange grove will now be fulfilled. Wholeness will be yours through the power of Creator God, the Redeeming Son, and the Sanctification of the Holy Spirit.
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